


Haunted

by Jadedphase



Category: Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-13
Updated: 2012-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-31 02:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/338897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadedphase/pseuds/Jadedphase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merry is haunted, even years after, by things outside his power and a loss that struck a deep wound down to his soul.</p><p>Revamp of an older work of mine.<br/>Alternate storyline from the original series of books and movies; set during Return of the King and after it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted

In that moment he did not want to say farewell, he refused to say goodbye. 

It was too much of a burden on his still young soul to utter such final words to his dear playmate. He was still too lost in times of silly games and trickery among the softly swaying trees to let his gaze fall upon the shadows of this world.   
How often he found joy in those ideas, even among the fear of life now. It took but a single found reason to become overcome with the part of himself that was still longing for simpler days.   
He knew them true, those broken murmurs of darkness that crept under the very air of a world somehow outside his own, but it did not mean he had to let them seep into his soul. Mistakes forgotten, weary paths all but faded, for only a flicker of sunlight cast here and there. Bright embers that were sparked from a shinning soul, still very much a child caught up in the matters of a world of stern adult resolve. 

It was a difficult thing to deal with, when so much of one's life had at first been simple but then so harsh and pained.

When at last their parting was at hand it seemed unreal; for no darkness could be so truly cruel as to pull away the bonds of two friends so dear that it seemed they were merely a single being given separate forms. 

As always he put forth a strong face for the younger, once more fighting his own worry and pushing it aside. He simply pulled up a brave resolve himself, more for his forlorn playmate than anything because fear was the hardest enemy to face in parting ways. Pippin had left him with a twinge of sorrow and nervous uncertainty in his eyes; a sight that would remained burning inside Merry for all his years after.

In the blink of an eye the person he had spent so many hours lost in childhood revelry had gone away to follow the paths of a world moving too fast for the both of them. It was as if someone had stolen the breath in his lungs, the air seemed so heavy and damp, or knocked aside the candle to light his own frightening road. Yet, he had offered comforting words, hopeful tones, but he had not said goodbye.

Words failed him again when news of the most painful sort reaching ears that never wanted to hear such sorrowed whispers. The world that had seemed cruel before now felt truly heartless, and so very empty.   
Merry lingered upon that last parting; of all the hopeful words he could have offered, perhaps they would have changed fate, perhaps they would have given sudden strength in final moments. It seemed as though everyone else could change the world with sheer determination alone so why was he denied such power?   
The most agonizing part was in knowing that he might have, if only he would have tried harder.

So much he could have done, from the very beginning, so many chances to turn away and hide back in those all but forgotten meadows of home. But pressing forward had been the only path which felt right then, perhaps not now though.   
Until life lay staring him face to face in cold terms, paled flesh made motionless, sparkling eyes now empty and dulled too soon. Childhood slipping away in a moment, with the passing of one who had been his shimmering reminder of youthful joy itself.   
Innocence bled away on the battlefield, stolen by a world that hardly cared over the loss or the wide streak of pain it cut into those left behind.

Time passed quickly after that moment but home somehow did not seem so flawless and perfect, the leaves turning in fall and spring melting together until years lost count in his mind. He no longer looked to childish happiness as he once did, as he surely would have even after the years, if only life had granted him the steady strength of the friend who had nearly been a brother and had taught him much with impish wisdom. 

Merry had grown still in life, holding his weary soul together by the resolve that he would not fail those who depended on him now, even though he felt as he had failed his truest friend so long ago. Standing alone among the fields no longer such a perfect green with a breeze somehow chilled to his skin, silent with no words to say now he could only think of what could have been said to change the tides of fate back then. 

And of all the words he never said, goodbye is the one that haunts him most.


End file.
